Why this homily matters?
Do you find yourself getting angry and then regretting it? This summary is of an excellent reflection by Jeff Cavins. He thoughtfully considers anger from a Christian point of view. Specifically, learn to control when you get angry with the practical steps provided. Watch out for actions, particularly, that come from selfish frustration, unfulfilled desires and bad moods. But also note there is a time and place for anger which can do positive things in this world.
Key Points
Anger is not a bad thing, as some might believe; it is what we do with anger that can cause either healing or hurt.
Getting angry is so common in our culture that we have names for outbreaks of it: road rage, going postal, losing it.
James 1:20 says, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. Because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”
The Negative Effects of Anger
We have all seen the parent who stands up at their child’s sports game and starts screaming at the ref. What do you think that parent is trying to accomplish?
Similarly, sometimes people act out their anger through passive-aggressive behavior. In other words, they act like they are calm but underneath, they are angry. They express their anger by not doing something you want them to do.
Proverbs 29:22 “A man of wrath stirs up strife, and a man given to anger causes many transgressions”
Repressed anger often leads to physical problems such as:
- hypertension,
- heart disease, and
- cancer.
It leads to resentment and hatred.
The problem with getting angry is that when we don’t understand it, it can come to control and ruin our lives. Just like any passion, it has the potential for good or evil. Unresolved anger can ruin your life.
Here is something to think about in this reflection, what is your getting angry trying to accomplish?
Anger is an emotion that rises up quickly in as little as 1 to 3 seconds. So, we must learn to get on top of it quickly. Furthermore, anger causes a physiological reaction lasting about 30 minutes sustained by hormones. This is what people have in mind when they say, “you need to cool down.”
Anger is Neither Good or Bad
The Catechism says the following. “The principal passions are love and hatred, desire, fear, joy, sadness, and anger” (CCC 1772).
“In the passions, as movements of the sensitive appetite, there is neither moral good nor evil. But insofar as they engage reason and will, there is a moral good or evil in them” (CCC 1773).
“Emotions and feelings can be taken up in the virtues or perverted by the vices” (CCC 1774).
So emotions are neither good nor bad. They can be influenced by virtues or vice and in so doing become good or bad things.
Is there a purpose to getting angry? Yes.
The Good Side of Anger
Anger is designed to motivate us to correct wrong and injustice and do right. Also, to restore broken relationships. However, it is not designed to motivate us to do destructive things like lash out at others or take the law into our own hands.
You can see other examples in Scripture where God is angry about something. What is God angry about?
- Sin,
- injustice,
- taking advantage of the weak,
- false witnesses, and
- lying tongues.
- Lots of things.
Anger is evidence that we are made in God’s image. It demonstrates that we still have concern for God’s justice and righteousness. To see a person angry points to the evidence that we are more than mere animals.
What is God’s purpose in human anger? Anger is designed to motivate us to take the right action when wrong or injustice is done.
Anger is designed to motivate us to correct wrongs, injustices and do what is right. Also, to restore broken relationships. It is not designed to motivate us to do destructive things.
So, what is an example of good anger? Candy Lightner is an example of someone who was angry and sinned not!
Candy was shocked that a drunk driver killed her 13-year-old daughter, Carrie. When the judge gave the drunk driver a light sentence, she was hurt and angry. This passion turned into a national movement to correct the problem. We know this movement as MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving!
Good anger is always a situation that is alerting us to the fact that injustice has happened. We need to think about whether we can do something about it or not!
The Bad Side of Anger
Bad Anger results from
- selfish frustration,
- unfulfilled desire,
- a bad mood,
- poor health, or
- something that has just inconvenienced your life.
For example, you blow up at your spouse because he/she forgot to pick up steak on the way home. So, you get angry, you poor thing you!
Have you ever noticed how society celebrates getting angry? We don’t encourage people to vent compassion.
Controlling Anger
Emotions can be controlled. We don’t complain that we couldn’t help but be joyful or filled with gratitude. One never hears the following. “You better watch it; one day, you’re going to explode in gratitude. You are all pent up with gratitude, and if I’m going to remain in this house, you need to get help!”
Yes, emotions can be controlled. Let me give you an example of how we control our emotions. An argument breaks out at home between you and your spouse. Volume is raised as you’re accusing each other when suddenly the phone rings. You pick up the phone and say, “hello, how can I make your day?” Don’t tell me you can’t control your emotions.
Yes, Jesus was angry and did not sin. He was angry at what people were doing in his father’s house! He had a right to be angry, and his anger brought about change!
If you are angry at perceived wrongs, this is bad anger. If you are truly wronged, anger may be warranted. Will you spend your life correcting little wrongs? Or will you address major issues in this world?
Gary Chapman – Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you ever regretted.
We need to train ourselves to not get angry at the small things.
Remember, you can be good and angry!
Other Biblical References to Anger
All of our principal passions can be controlled.
Proverbs 14: 17 A man of quick temper acts foolishly but a man of discretion is patient.
Proverbs 15:1 – A soft answer turns away wrath.
Ephesians 4:26 Be angry but do not sin
Ecclesiastes 7:9 Be not quick to anger for anger lodges in the bosom of fools.
Proverbs 29:11 A fool gives full vent to anger but a wise man controls it.
Proverbs 19:11 Good sense makes a man slow to ager and it is his glory to overlook an offense.
Practical steps to control anger
- When something happens to you, you need to pause. This is a discipline given that anger develops so quickly (1 to 3 seconds). Take custody of your mind and spirit. Watch yourself for next 30 seconds
- Consciously acknowledge that you are feeling angry
- Count to 10. Control your will
- Locate the focus of your anger. Identify what specifically is bothering you.
- Is it good anger or bad anger? Is action dictated to fix an injustice? Or is it just an inconvenience?
- Analyze your options. Does the action you are about to take or say have anything to do about correcting the wrong? Does it build the person up as we are required to do as Christians? Is it best for the person with whom I am angry?
- Take constructive action if warranted. Develop a plan
- Turn it over to God if anger is not warranted. Most of the time it is our own selfishness.
Time to walk in holiness. Live your life for the things that really matter.
Triggers for Bad Anger
- Criticism
- Being late
- Drinking
- Financial problems
- Diet
- Lack of sleep
- Hormones
- Your ideas not being accepted
- Unfulfilled expectations in a relationship
- Poor customer service from a company you are dealing with.
Tips for dealing with anger in your family members
- Listen to them without answering.
- Ask clarifying questions
- Offer them respect
- Do not let the way something is being expressed affect you trying to understand what is going on
- Put yourself in their shoes
- Share information that will help the situation
- If you are wrong, confess it and make restitution. If they are right, tell them.
- Do not imitate their behavior. Change the game by acting responsibly and with holiness.
Suggested Reflection
https://hallow.com/partner-jeffcavins Nov 18, 2022 Daily Reflection
Scripture References
Gospel of Luke 19:02
James 1:9, 20
Proverbs 29:22